barbara walters just said penis...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
