After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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