I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
