Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
