tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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