Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
