My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
