so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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