i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
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He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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