she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
