I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
