TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
