Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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