i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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