do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
