I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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