our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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