woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
