Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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