I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Randomize
