like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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