thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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