I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i would punch a child for taco bell
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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