some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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