Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
