he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
