Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
