fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
