Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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