absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How does one acquire holy water?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
