hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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