you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
