I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
