Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
