Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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