he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
