Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
