I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
