I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
