I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
