I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
