Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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