I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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