That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
