dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
