Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
