I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize