Pants 0. Shit 1.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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