I bet he comes in French.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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