my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
