Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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