New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
