I'm jealous of your bromance
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
