Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
