If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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