I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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