she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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