i just wanna soil my oats bro
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
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i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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