i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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