I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
