school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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