whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
