Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
