This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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