we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
