Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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