I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
