did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
